Umqondisi Weqembu u-Aaron wabelana ngomhlahlandlela wobungani bokukhulisa izingane ehlobo

Phakathi nezinsuku zasehlobo ezinde esizichitha eduze nezingane zethu, izindlela zethu zokukhulisa izingane zivame ukugqama kakhulu. Ukuqaphela indlela yakho yokukhulisa izingane kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokunqoba izinselele.

I-Psychology ngokuvamile iveza izindlela ezine eziyinhloko zokukhulisa izingane:

Uma izitayela zokukhulisa izingane zingalingani ngesikhathi samaholide, zingadala isiphithiphithi kalula kulezi zindawo ezintathu ezilandelayo:

Singabhekana kanjani nobunzima bokukhulisa izingane ehlobo futhi sakhe ukuxhumana nezingane zethu okuzinzile nokufudumele?

U-Aaron unikeza impendulo yakhe—esekelwe kokubili kwisayensi kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwangempela.

U-Aaron neQembu Lobuholi Bezemfundo le-CIS

2. Lokho Isayensi Esitshela Khona: Ubudlelwano BungapholaUkulimala Kwabantwana

Ku-The 7 Laws of Parenting, u-Aaron ubhala:

"Into engcono kakhulu abazali abangayenza ukusiza izingane zabo zelapheke ukuhlala zixhumene ngokomzwelo."

Lokhu akuyona nje into eduduzayo—isekelwa yi-neuroscience.Ucwaningo lwe-ACE (Okuhlangenwe Nakho Okubi Kwabantwana), olwenziwe yi-CDC kanye neKaiser Permanente, lwaba olokuqala ukuveza ukuthi ubunzima bokuqala bungaba nemiphumela yesikhathi eside ekukhuleni kobuchopho bengane kanye nempilo yengqondo.

Okubaluleke kakhulu, u-Aaron uyasikhumbuza:"Izingane ziyakwazi ukumelana nezimo ngendlela emangalisayo. Ngobudlelwano obuhle kanye nezimo ezifanele, ngisho nalabo abanamaphuzu aphezulu e-ACE bangachuma."

Ngamanye amazwi,Amanxeba abangelwa ubudlelwano kumele aphulukiswe nangobudlelwano.Impendulo ngayinye esiyinikezayo, ukumanga ngakunye, umzuzu ngamunye wokubukana emehlweni kusiza ekwakheni kabusha umuzwa wabo wokuphepha.

3. Ukukhulisa izingane akukhona ukulawula— kumayelana nokuxhumana

Njengoba u-Aaron esho:"Sihlole ukubaluleka kolwazi nokulinganisela, nokuthi ukulingisa ubuhlakani bemizwa, ilukuluku, kanye nokuzinakekela kusiza kanjani ekukhuliseni izingane eziqinile nezinozwela."

Ake sibheke kabanzi ukuthi le mithetho ingasiqondisa kanjaniIzinselele ezintathu ezinkulu zokukhulisa izingane zasehlobo.

Inselele 1:Izikrini—Ukuxhumana Noma Ukungqubuzana?

Ihlobo liza nempi ejwayelekile: isikhathi sokubuka isikrini. U-Aaron uyasikhumbuza:

"Sihlole ukulinganisela, ikakhulukazi esikhathini sedijithali, nokuthi singabaholela kanjani abantwana ebuhlotsheni obuhle nobuchwepheshe, isikhathi, ngisho nabo ngokwabo."

Zama ukusebenzisa lokhuizimiso ezintathu:

• Umthetho Wokulinganisela
  Ezweni elikhuthaza ukweqisa—isikhathi esiningi sokubuka isikrini, ushukela omningi, ukuvuselela okwengeziwe—ukufundisa izingane ukulinganisela kuzisiza ukuba zihlakulele ukuzithiba, ukuqina ngokomzwelo, kanye nokuzazi.

• Umthetho Wokungaguquguquki
  Ukungaguquguquki kunikeza ukuphepha. Imithetho engaguquguquki ibangela ukukhathazeka kanye nokulwa njalo kwamandla.

• Umthetho Wolimi
  Amazwi ethu aba yizwi langaphakathi lengane yethu. Esikhundleni sokuthi “Kungani usefonini yakho futhi?” zama: “Ngiyazi ukuthi uyawuthanda lo mdlalo—masithole nokuthile okujabulisayo esingakwenza ndawonye.”

Inselele 2:Ukukhathazeka Kwezemfundo

—Sililungiselela Kanjani Ngempela Ikusasa?

Ihlobo livame ukuletha kokubili ukufundisa kanye “nokwesaba ukusala ngemuva.” U-Aaron usikhumbuza ukuthi imfundo yangempela imayelana nokukhulisa ilukuluku, hhayi ukuthobela imithetho:

"Imfundo yeqiniso ikhuthaza ilukuluku, hhayi ukuthobela imithetho."

Zama ukufaka isicelo:

• Umthetho Wokulinganisela
  Ukulinganisela kuyisisekelo sempilo enhle yempilo yonke. Ezweni eligcwele ukukhuthazwa ngokweqile, izikrini, ukuhlela ngokweqile, kanye nolwazi oluningi, izingane zidinga ukwesekwa ukuze zivumelanise izingqondo zazo, imizimba, kanye nemimoya yazo. Ukufundisa lokhu kulinganisela kuzisiza ukuba zakhe ukuqwashisa, zilawule ukucindezeleka, futhi zichume kuzo zonke izici zokuphila.

• Umthetho Wolwazi
  Ukukhulisa uthando lokufunda kungenye yemigomo ebaluleke kakhulu yokuba ngumzali. Imfundo yangempela idlula ekilasini—ikhulisa ilukuluku, ukuzivumelanisa nezimo, kanye nesifiso sokukhula impilo yonke.